The one lost sheep I am trying to help…

Dear readers,

Not sure who is getting my blog posts but wanted to make sure this one got out to all for prayer….If this is a double email for you, my apologies….

It has been a rough week for sure and I am pulling out my bag of tricks to feel better.  I know what works and what doesn’t and am seeing a new therapist now which is very helpful.  I am certainly doing well in my recovery because I have got through a couple of very hard things without relapsing on many levels.

My dad (who is in extended care due to a major stroke and is paralyzed on his left side) got very sick and we thought it was pneumonia, which if it was we were not going to treat due to his mental decline, but it was just a bad cough and he made it through.  Even though he is not always cognitively present it still provides comfort that he is alive; everyone at extended care loves him and he still makes sense the first five minutes and I will take that and hope he is still alive for many years despite the cost of 15,000 dollars a month to keep him in an excellent facility.

Then the past week my mom got gravely ill and we thought she was going to die.  I cancelled my class that I love to teach because I was a basket case and witnessed a miracle of her getting better after asking many people to pray for her recovery.  The thought of losing both my mom and dad the same month has been very rough but I taught my sociology class today even though it was hard to focus and I have been relaxing a lot, watching netflix (fave show right now is heartland) and eating some healthy and some not so healthy foods to cope with the stress.

Yet, despite all that I am going through tonight I am focused on this one little lost sheep (student) who is trying very hard but is failing my class.  The rest of my students are passing with high grades for the most part but she is not.  So tonight I referred her to an early alert program which I should have done sooner but better late than never.  I won’t give up on her!  So if you can pray for her to get the help she needs I would greatly appreciate it.

I feel like I know personally what the bible talks about going after the one sheep that has gone astray, leaving the rest of the herd to help the one that is lost in my class!  I don’t see it as a failure on my part because she is the only one who is struggling but I have to do all I can and pray, pray and pray.

Life is good right now!  I have both my parent for the moment, my three kids are doing well and my marriage is strong.  My husband, who does not begin to understand my diagnosis, has really been compassionate in his way and I have expressed my thanks to him.  I love my job teaching sociology 101 and love to challenge my students in new and interesting ways.  I hope they will ask me to teach again in the Spring 2019 but we shall see.  Any way around it, it has been a great experience and very rewarding.  I don’t make much money but love teaching!

My birthday is next week and I have many plans, Morro Bay with my dear daughter, Chinese buffet with family, pizza and movie night and horseback riding on the beach.  I feel spoiled! 49 years young!

I am still taking the CBD oil from GOTERPY which has greatly reduced my schizoaffective disorder symptoms.  I am no longer delusional which is great to know that I am not the greatest person to ever live lol.  Sounds silly but until I started taking the full spectrum CBD oil, I still partially believed it but now I know I am not and it is a great relief!

Hope everyone has a good Friday and thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts for my lost sheep, that she may return with a decent grade and pass my class.



We are all in this together!!!

Everyone is affected but don’t lose hope!!! Help via online resources like Facebook and doing good will help others! Has lifted my spirits today!

Message of hope…

Dear readers near and far,

Love you all especially UK, India, France and USA, Spain and every country in this world!

I greet you with love from California where I sit and ponder all that is happening.  Here are some of my most pronounced observations~


Empty streets- people out of love are staying home to prevent the spread of this pandemic, what a beautiful act of love…

Schools are closed- families are reuniting with their loved ones in this time of utter disruption of the normal.  note- if you are home with your kids take the time to teach them your pledge of allegiance of whatever country you are from or in.  Get a small flag and make this a part of your new norm.

Fear of anyone closer than six feet- solidarity in respecting the the spread of this virus and showing many signs of support of all the health care workers.  Wish I could share what I saw on Facebook, people in various countries were clapping, flashing their lights from their homes and applauding all who are on the front lines of this scary virus.

Confusion- we are all a bit confused right now about how this will all end up but I plead with you to look within and work hard on your inner child.  Get back to play remembering your favorite pastime from childhood and practice it at your adult level.  Mine is skipping and last night as I finished my five miles of walking I added skipping to some fun music in my back yard under the stars and moon.

Confusion continued- Look within and ask yourself am I living the best life I can in isolation?  Am I taking care of first the basics and then the pluses, the pluses being anything new that interests you.  My friend is learning to play the ukulele, I am doing tons of self care right now even though I a confused right now too.  I am looking deep within and trying to find my purpose right now in this time of utter craziness.  I have signed up to help others with wellness phone calls to seniors in our local city because the key to happiness is…

Noble or kind deeds and hot baths!

Treat yourself good during this time of uncertainty.  I am looking up still to God who is the answer in this time as much as ever.







Tired of new normal…but looking up!

Tired but still not giving up…

Mentally good but tired of the social restrictions placed upon all of us, especially not being able to visit my dear parents who are both in a different care facility one and a half miles apart.

Today I took my dad a lottery scratcher that he had been asking for.  He can’t understand why I can’t help him with it but he has a dear aide who is going to help him.  It is nice to know he is loved so much.

After dropping off the scratcher, I decided to go on an adventure and walk to my mom’s independent facility to bring her a new crossword puzzle.  It was a lovely day and nice to veer from the norm.  Saw a few people from afar…

This is the new normal.  Pictures with just one or two people or dare I say three?  Pictures of scenery because somehow it helps to look at all the places we cannot go.  The new normal.  I feel like my life is virtual in so many ways right now.

I created a motivation board to help me stay in a good routine and for inspiration when I need it and it is already helping.  Will try to post a pic but we shall see.  At the top is God looking up.  All knowing, all powerful, everywhere.  We must look up at times like this.  It is my only hope.

Then it has my yoga encouragement.  Don’t know why but it is very hard to bring myself to the mat now and even prior this craziness.

To the left of my yoga time steps it has my Super space.  Right now I am doing everything super style.  Super foods (today I added mushrooms cuz somehow they’re supposed to help) and extra sauce to a frozen pizza), super walks, super bath and spa time, super me time, super nap time!  You get the idea.

So when I am stressed or bored, I can look at my board and get ideas for things to do when I am just sitting there thinking about how the world has changed.

The pink box is all I must do every day to keep my routine going.  Having a routine to follow really helps keep me focused with my eye on the prize!  What is the prize?  Well in everything it is heaven, but here on earth it is sanity and well-being.  It may help some of you to find your focus each new day in personal partying mode.  My daughter coined that phrase with a friend instead of calling it social distancing.  Lol.  Love her creativity.


I am good for the most part but my husband decided to return to work tomorrow so that entails so many things.  On one had we will be able to make our mortgage payments but on the other hand it means exposure.  But that is a blog for another day.  I gave him a big hug because it might be the last one he gets for a while!

Hope and pray you all are doing well.  Thank you for the likes and comments.  They do really help but if only one person reads this and is helped then it is worth my time and if I am the only one who knows these thoughts then Amen so be it!

God bless you all!

Stay safe and sane and write anytime at:

I have developed some of the most amazing friendships and had the most opportunities through this blog.  Can’t believe it has been a year since Boston sitting on the advisory board of Snow Companies, paid travel plus compensation.  Who would have guessed what life would be like one year later.

Ok, posting the pic of my motivation board thanks to the help of my son!





Helped a homeless man…

I forgot all I have learned the past two weeks and had empathy…. spontaneously gave him some supplies and feeling bad that I may have exposed myself and my household.

Was in a good space yesterday so went to park and met William. I feel so bad for the homeless right now but have decided to stay home and work on my gardening.



Melt down, still recovering…

After my last post of how well I was doing I hit a wall…

Had to go to busy store to pick up my prescriptions and tried all day the day before to get them delivered but because one of them is a controlled substance they could not.  It was a lot of ups and downs and in the end I did go but got out as quick as I could.  Really freaked me out!

This is fricking nuts!  I am still recovering from my melt down.  Thought about drugs and booze but not about suicide.  No I want to live , I want to give hugs again and shake hands, without the fear…

Tried to quit vaping…didn’t go so well on a stressful day and there may be more to come…

Hope and pray for all of you and your families everywhere, Japan, China, India, Australia to name a few and of course the US.  God bless the world, God bless America!




In the best mental health space in a while…

Dear readers, old and new, followers, purusers, and the like from around the world.

I am doing really well right now happy to report.  I have Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder since 2006 and the road has had many ups and downs with several relapses due to the stress of working mainly.  I don’t work anymore and haven’t for many years, on permanent disability which is great right now because my husband gladly isn’t working.

But how am I doing so well?  I am surrounded by my husband, adult daughter and son and my pups!  I have so much to be grateful for, God, my family, loved ones, first responders and those who work every day to help the first responders like my other son and daughter in law.  Can’t minimize the importance of their valuable contribution to society in these most difficult times.

Because I don’t work I am used to a lot of alone time and having most of my family with me right now really helps.  We rotate around the house and each of us give the others the space we need.  Here are the ways each of us are dealing with this global crisis.  We all have our own way to deal so thought to share how my family is getting on.

My husband has the tv (with the news) on most of the time so I have my ear buds in with relaxing music (current fave is the Staves, make it holy), then he watches something else or the other day he watched comedians for three hours.  It was great to hear him laugh.  When he needs to, he goes out to his big garage he built a few years ago and listens to loud music and drinks beer and calls his friends.

My daughter is working from home for the moment although her job may become obsolete soon.  So I see her in spurts throughout the day.  When she is not working she is face-timing friends and coworkers and watching shows.  She wants to work out but it isn’t a priority i guess but I think it would really help her…

My 21 year old baby son sleeps until 2 or 3 every day because he stays up late playing his games and catching up on the news.  He gets his anger about the situation out by cursing at the monitor… but he is trying to work out at least several days a week and last night encouraged us to play a game of Yahtzee which he won.  I was surprised by how he had his strategy down.

For the most part I do all the cooking and clean up with occasional help from my daughter.  I don’t mind because anything I do right now to stay busy keeps my mind off all the fears I’m sure we all have.  And cooking creatively right now and sitting down together as a family should is really really nice.  Hope it continues past this time…

Why else am I doing so well?

I am really keeping up with my supplement routine.  I take my Goterpy Cbd oil full spectrum two or three times a day which really helps with stress, mental clarity by Shaklee helps me to be focused and remember things, vitamins D and B (sublingual for energy) and I have elderberry syrup on the way to support the immune system.

I am also staying very active, walking, gardening, cleaning and then cleaning some more, yoga and dancing.  I am aware of the news through a trusted local source and another but I don’t spend much time if any on social media.

I just know right now many of us are suffering with the way the world is turning but having a routine every day and sticking to it is paramount to our mental health.  It might be just one thing extra other than taking your meds and taking care of your mental and physical health that you set out to do each day.

I was feeling better one day, so made a huge list of things I wanted to get done.  Well at the end of the day I crumpled up the list because I did nothing on the list.  Then I started putting one thing to accomplish outside of my regular routine on each day of my planner for the week and voila!  The magic of not having the pressure of a bunch of things helped me so much mentally that I actually did much much more than I had set out.

I went to bed with a cleaner house, tired body and mental and physical satisfaction that it had been a good productive day.  But I know not every day will be like that so acceptance of that fact is important to setting realistic goals each day in this time of the unknown when we don’t know when things will get back to normal.

I also am really trying not to go to the store right now.  I have to go tomorrow to pick up my meds for the month so will pick up some essentials.  If I use the food in my cupboards, fridge and freezer I will save money and not expose myself extra to this virus.  I challenge you to do so too!  If more Americans and the rest of the world would practice this the pandemic would halt to a slow and we will be able to get back to some normalcy.

Hope this longer than usual blog is helpful at some levels.

Praying for all of you and the whole world.

I can be reached at for anything…