The one lost sheep I am trying to help…

Dear readers,

Not sure who is getting my blog posts but wanted to make sure this one got out to all for prayer….If this is a double email for you, my apologies….

It has been a rough week for sure and I am pulling out my bag of tricks to feel better.  I know what works and what doesn’t and am seeing a new therapist now which is very helpful.  I am certainly doing well in my recovery because I have got through a couple of very hard things without relapsing on many levels.

My dad (who is in extended care due to a major stroke and is paralyzed on his left side) got very sick and we thought it was pneumonia, which if it was we were not going to treat due to his mental decline, but it was just a bad cough and he made it through.  Even though he is not always cognitively present it still provides comfort that he is alive; everyone at extended care loves him and he still makes sense the first five minutes and I will take that and hope he is still alive for many years despite the cost of 15,000 dollars a month to keep him in an excellent facility.

Then the past week my mom got gravely ill and we thought she was going to die.  I cancelled my class that I love to teach because I was a basket case and witnessed a miracle of her getting better after asking many people to pray for her recovery.  The thought of losing both my mom and dad the same month has been very rough but I taught my sociology class today even though it was hard to focus and I have been relaxing a lot, watching netflix (fave show right now is heartland) and eating some healthy and some not so healthy foods to cope with the stress.

Yet, despite all that I am going through tonight I am focused on this one little lost sheep (student) who is trying very hard but is failing my class.  The rest of my students are passing with high grades for the most part but she is not.  So tonight I referred her to an early alert program which I should have done sooner but better late than never.  I won’t give up on her!  So if you can pray for her to get the help she needs I would greatly appreciate it.

I feel like I know personally what the bible talks about going after the one sheep that has gone astray, leaving the rest of the herd to help the one that is lost in my class!  I don’t see it as a failure on my part because she is the only one who is struggling but I have to do all I can and pray, pray and pray.

Life is good right now!  I have both my parent for the moment, my three kids are doing well and my marriage is strong.  My husband, who does not begin to understand my diagnosis, has really been compassionate in his way and I have expressed my thanks to him.  I love my job teaching sociology 101 and love to challenge my students in new and interesting ways.  I hope they will ask me to teach again in the Spring 2019 but we shall see.  Any way around it, it has been a great experience and very rewarding.  I don’t make much money but love teaching!

My birthday is next week and I have many plans, Morro Bay with my dear daughter, Chinese buffet with family, pizza and movie night and horseback riding on the beach.  I feel spoiled! 49 years young!

I am still taking the CBD oil from GOTERPY which has greatly reduced my schizoaffective disorder symptoms.  I am no longer delusional which is great to know that I am not the greatest person to ever live lol.  Sounds silly but until I started taking the full spectrum CBD oil, I still partially believed it but now I know I am not and it is a great relief!

Hope everyone has a good Friday and thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts for my lost sheep, that she may return with a decent grade and pass my class.

Pax

Victoria

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Tedtalk on hard to treat Schizophrenia, worth a watch…

Dear readers,

Here is a wonderful tedtalk on the story of a woman I admire greatly who is the founder of Curesz, who is also a close personal friend.

Worth a watch any way around it but especially if your current meds just aren’t doing their job.  No one should have to suffer needlessly with this disorder!  Check it out here~

Bethany Yeiser’s Tedtalk

Pax

Victoria

Things that stress me out…

 

and how I cope with a mental disorder.

  1. Money, although there always is some but yet wham, the unexpected or balloon payment is due like say for your taxes.  Mine are due in October.  Think of something else.  Don’t spend a dime.  Save if one can, even pennies add up to dollars.  I have definitely gotten better at saving this year.  I stopped shopping for everything on Amazon and am being more frugal about going to the store for every little item.  My husband was supposed to take over the bills because of my disorder but it hasn’t happened and never will probably.

I don’t work so I have more time to find coupons and deals when we do spend.  He makes a decent income so if I am careful I can really tuck some money away if I’m careful.

I know I am blessed.  I can’t imagine being single and having to rely on my disability income which I get $1,000 a month.

2. Sickness and getting older.  I am not as fit as I used to be but am getting back on track.  But I have been dealing for the past two weeks with a new medical problem surrounding digestive issues and am really trying to avoid going to the doctor right now because of lack of insurance (see #3) at least until October 1.

To combat this stress I try to eat healthy all the time with the occasional goodie.  I also am now exercising 4x a week on average.  I am gardening, walking and doing yoga throughout the week.  This helps my getting in better shape and also helps mental alertness and health.  Today was a rest day and all I wanted to do was to rest but I am in the middle of several projects around the house and rose garden so it was actually harder than I thought it would be to take a day off but my body needed the rest.  So back at it tomorrow!

Although this can stress me out a lot I am learning that the key to my happiness is acceptance.

Now i am much more motivated to do the healthy things that I am doing.  Which in the past it has really been problematic to just sit all day and do nothing, now I do rest in the mornings but do get busier later in the day.  So it is good that I am treating my body better because I have really been sick a lot and it has caused me to make sure I do all I can to be healthy.

I might go to the doctor this week.  We shall see how things go but this relates to #1 the money stress with doctor bills and testing they might want to do.

3.  My parents.  I accept they will not always be around but my dad is paralyzed on his left half of his body and my mom is a fighter but is still very frail yet tough as a bird!

How I combat this stress is by spending as much time with them as I can and appreciating every moment.

4.  Kids and husband.  Kids is easy to combat.  All the work I put in when they were growing up has paid off and although I might not agree with all their decisions I am very proud of the 3 of them.  Interestingly enough, my disorder did not kick in until I was 38 and I was only lost to the world for a year of being psychotic.  Husband is one of my kids ha ha so ditto for him.

I also stress over the unexpected busy day, making sure I take all my meds, doing all I can for my family and friends even when an interruption comes at an inconvenient time.  I used to turn off my phone, which I still do, but I do take calls when I can as needed to be a good friend!

Well that is the main stuff.  What are some things that stress you out and how do you cope?  Comment below or email me at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com.

Bless you all!  Of  course I pray a lot too and try to trust what God is doing.  But it isn’t always easy to do.

pax

Victoria

 

Thank you all…

So the truth is that I rarely get likes or comments on my blogs but I can see that it is viewed frequently with over 20,000 views since 2013, wow 6 years I have been blogging, just putting it out there with the only direction from above and my sharing of my journey with all my readers.

So just in case someone from let’s say India or the US wants to hear about something further from what I have written about feel free to write me at: victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

If I don’t hear anything I will just keep doing what I have been doing since this blog’s inception.

Bless you all!

Pax

Victoria

Checking in sorry not as promised…

Dear readers,

I don’t blog much these days but life has been crazy.

I am learning what works for me, what motivates me and how to deal with some difficult emotions found around those I love, tears, smiles and a lot more.  But for the most part I am doing really well despite this difficult diagnosis.

Some of the things I do to stay well is to every day do the following:

Deep breaths

prayer

read my bible

self care

garden (ok not every day)

Keep my house up

take care of my doggies

take care of the bills, taxes, cars, houses and paperwork

read inspirational books and articles or watch Tedtalks

exercise several times a week (yoga, walking, cleaning house, and going to start interval running.

and last but not least I listen to inspirational music mainly Jason Mraz (ok I am obsessed with him and his music ha ha)

Life is pretty good right now except for some minor anxiety.  I also take a few supplements NAC, CBD oil full spectrum (because of taking this oil I am no longer delusional) and magnesium.  I also take my anti-psychotic meds every day no matter how I feel.

I don’t feel the need to blog as much as I used to because the delusions are gone.  Come to find out the book I wrote I was delusional while writing it.  When I reread it (which is rare) I find that I don’t remember even writing it.  I remember my delusions and although I am free of them it’s nice to be free!

Hope all of you are doing well!

Prayers,

pax

Victoria

 

Blog update and question of the day…

Dear readers,

I have not posted on this blog since transferring all my followers to my new format which is still WordPress which you can find here schizophreniarecovery.us.

I got an interesting offer to do a video interview through SAMHSA through this old blog which does still get views and I see a few new followers.  I hadn’t realized it is still getting views so will be updating it every month with a blog just for you.  I will also be posting this blog on my new site so if you please you can just get one email alerting you of my new blog through which ever site you feel more comfortable with.

This blog is answering one of the interview questions in the selection process (they are interviewing several people and honestly I just want the one with the most hope to be picked even if that is not me) and I will be answering at least one every time I blog on the new blog.  Sorry if this is confusing but I want to reach as many people as possible that there is hope for those who suffer from a serious mental disorder as I do or their loved ones or any new projects that may come my way via this blog or the newer one.

I have been blogging since 2013 and am actually going to Boston end of this month to an advisory board for bloggers of Schizophrenia.  I am pretty excited and will see how I can bring my blog to the next level and spread the message of hope that I share through my ups and downs of living with a mental health disorder.  Life is not easy for sure and some days I stay in my jammies all day or until noon more frequently as the medicine I take makes me groggy in the am.

So… the first question that I would like to answer is “What would you like people to know about you?”.  The answer is simple but complex like many of life’s oxymoron’s.   I wake up each day not knowing what my mood will be and what I will accomplish as that is my measure of how I am doing.  I’m not always talking about crossing off a list of to do’s; no I am also talking about making connections with my family, friends and anyone who God puts in my path that I am meant to interact with.

I would say I am pretty successful most days in fact every day because even when I don’t feel like it I get stuff done (my biggest challenge is the dishes ha ha) and  always connect with people whether it is though my blog or my family and more.  I have found a new cafe where most of the workers are autistic and every time I go there and get a hug from Deano I am happy to be me and to connect.  I have wanted a place I can go to be me and although I go there by myself I make connections with all the staff and sometimes the other customers.  I have always wanted a place I can go to where they know my name like in Cheers and I think I have found my favorite hangout place.  I have been going there for a few weeks now but have wanted to go there for many years.  A big step but one I am glad I took.

That is just a little bit about me.  There is much more but will share more as I have time and feel free to comment or share with me via email something you would like people to know about you at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Pax

Victoria