Sometimes I really wish I could work in my community with fellow people with this disorder. I have recently worked in my career with 2 people who have psychotic disorders and I feel I am really able to help them mainly because of my personal experience, even though they do not know I have a psychotic disorder, too. I know I can’t help everyone but I feel like I could do more. I toyed with the idea to contact a local organization and volunteer to lead a group and disclose my disorder and recovery but I know I would have to tell my work and I really fear the stigma associated with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective Disorder.
At my last job, after disclosing my mental health condition things definitely changed. My judgement was no longer trusted and I was treated “differently”. I tried not to believe that things had changed but they did. Things are going really well for me at my work. With the exception of one co-worker no one knows. Why should I jeopardize my good standing just to maybe help a few more people? I can’t do it now but perhaps later I will specialize in this disorder and “come out” after I have proven myself.
Is this selfish thinking? I think not. My family depends on my income so if I were to jeopardize that it would affect them directly and they are my number one priority in life.
So for now I will just continue to do what I am doing and try to be satisfied.