My circle of life has come round full circle today, yes it is my birthday but I don’t wish for happy birthdays or congratulations. Instead I am taking quiet moments by myself to think and ponder on the greatness of life and what my mental illness means to me.
It means so much…When I was psychotic I was on a different plane of existence. It was beautiful, awesome and scary all at the same time. Now that I am on medication the symptoms are managed but I have awakened spiritually since that first encounter in 2008, 8 years ago. I am much more in tuned with God and feel at peace being on medication.
I was supposed to work today but God had other plans. I felt sick and got out of work, came home and took a 3 hour nap and now am just relaxing before I go out to dinner with my loving family. I watched a Ted talk on spirituality vs psychosis and found it to be very interesting. I would be revered in certain cultures and encouraged to be psychotic or spiritually attuned. The stigma of mental illness would not follow me, instead I would be mentored by someone else who had undergone the same sorts of experiences.
Wow! That is an amazing thought to have on my birthday!
Yet, I know that I will never go off my medication as there are no cultures here that support this type of life.
But in the same breath I can say that my spiritual life is very good right now. I pray upon awakening and throughout the day and before retiring at night. I believe in God the Father Almighty who made heaven and earth!
May the God of our understanding comfort you all in all your trials and experiences whether medicated or not. We each have our own path and walk it the best we can. For me it is what it is and I don’t regret it.