Since getting fired I have been trying to keep a chin up and accept my limitations to be able to work and have tirelessly tried to deal with this anxiety.  I await disability to view my situation and it helps that I got fired, but it still be another half year prior to settling.

I smoke and chew nicotine lozenges endlessly throughout the day.  But I am managing my house and cooking for my mom and son and me.  I shower but unwillingly.

I suppose I should call my doctor but when he tried to change my anti-anxiety medication I had terrible side effects and had to discontinue its use.  Afraid to try anything else.

I am not suicidal which is good because sometimes it does get to that but I want to live and just struggle to get through each day.

But I will not give up!

Pax

Victoria