I so desperately want this medicine to work. I find myself fantasizing that I am no longer ill, but stable and able to hold down a job even if it’s an easy one. I dream of the day when this disorder no longer controls me.
So far the new medicine is helping with:
connecting to family God and friends more and feeling deep emotions
I am hungrier again (gotta watch that one, don’t want to regain all my weight)
no longer delusional, don’t believe I am the greatest person to ever live anymore. What a relief!
using music as a major coping skill while I sift through the laziness or drowsiness caused by the new and old med
How I am still suffering
unmotivated at times to do the simplest of tasks
feeling overmedicated being on three antipsychotic meds
poor memory, and judgement
question every decision many times
May God bless you all as He has me!