Hello to all!
One week on Clozapine now and much is going on while I wait to increase it next week and then slowly wean off my other medications. I have high hopes that I will be much better on this medication. It has been a long emotional week and then some depression set in today, mild though. Anxiety was at its peak yesterday and there was nothing to stress me out. I don’t like that but did have a job interview scheduled for today which I canceled until next week. I am pretty much praying for a miracle. It is a job I have always wanted but I might not be ready yet with the adjustments so I am taking it day by day and will decide next week if I am at a better place to work again.
So so far it is a waiting game.
Being mentally disordered sucks!!!!!!
Today I saw my dad…..he is paralyzed on his left side after two strokes last year July 2, 2016.
He is not always coherent but today was priceless…
I just love my dad so so much and miss our long visits over coffee with him going on and on about whatever was on his mind, advice, observations, secret holder my dad!
I told him I was hearing voices of Jesus and he never told till later after my life unraveled. I could trust him with anything and everything and trust him I did…
but no more and this makes me so sad…he almost died twice and yet he is still with us in this new limited capacity… but I will take it God, I accept he will never be back to where he was before, so today was special.
We sat by a fountain at the care facility where he lives and called a few people and then he began to just talk to me…in a low but clear voice, advising me as he once did with words from the gospel to be Jesus’ sheep. we sat a while…and then he was done.
I have been taking Clozapine now for 3 days and I have not felt such deep emotions for a very long time….Can’t wait until it is increased and I can stop taking my other anti-psychotics!
Hope you all are doing well!