The ups and downs of having a mental disorder…

Dear readers,

Well life lately has been interesting, suicidal one day and week, passive though but didn’t see myself being alive nor wanting to be.

But God got me through it through my mom having a stroke and needing me to be there for her.  My dad had a stroke three years ago and is still alive although paralyzed and cognitively impaired at times but other times is still with it.

He gives me much comfort all the time since I was a baby, through childhood and much of my adult life and even now in his diminished capacity.

It shook me out of my “funk” and today I want to live.

I have rededicated my life to Jesus and am looking forward to things coming u p.

On a separate note, heard from God last week, just a feeling, and it was due to a trigger friend who I don’t talk to anymore because when we do strange things happen.  We both hear from God and it is very confusing and strange.

All I can say is that when God wants something or somebody He gets it.  I feel like I am having a cynical outlook.  I love God and trust in all His love, grace and mercy but I don’t understand His will for me and many.

I am glad I am not God that is for sure.

Join me in praying this month for all the souls in purgatory, may they rest in peace amen!

Pax

Victoria

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