The facade…

I am not ok right now.  I am safe and not suicidal but finding it hard to leave my house past couple of days.  But I put on a brave face for all to see, the facade that I am fine when I am not.  I want to scream sometimes but sing or hum instead of scaring people.

Not sure where my Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective Disorder comes into play but the fact that I cannot work or take a volunteer position really messes with my head  Distractions are welcome to take my mind off of my mad existence.  yesterday it was beer and rocky road ice cream. ha ha the secret it out.

Today I am fighting with myself to get sh*& done.  I feel better about my life when I get things done.

Took a little break from my series of my love journey with schizophrenia.  But this is still some how related.  What does one do when motivation is wanting and simple things not being where they are supposed to be are not there.

I will not give up.  My parents are proof of that and my good example to follow these days.  The word I find continuing to follow me in this new year is adaptability.  One must be adaptable when one is in trouble.

I have several health issues troubling me right now and although I am seeing doctors and my therapist, it is causing some worry.  But I will push on.

What has really helped me is taking Goterpy a unique cbd oil that I take three times a day for my Schizophrenia, pain and depression.  It has changed my life in many ways.  I am selling it now, 250 mg for $30 plus shipping.  It is an added expense because although it helps with the symptoms, often it is that I have to keep taking it to get the results I desire.  If I miss a dose I notice it pretty quick.  Off I go to take my midday dose.

If you are interested in buying some or have any comments on my blog feel free to email me at ~ victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Pax

Victoria

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