Part 5 of my schizophrenia love journey…

3–5pm is my witching hour.  I am impulsive, anxious and often lonely.  The last few days I have been busy with family stuff and have been with someone at that time and I was fine.

My husband works long hours and I am alone much of the day and nothing is safe when the hour hits.

Tonight I am alone in my home back from the train ride and helping my son and daughter in law move and visiting with my daughter, brother and other son.

Such a strange day for many reasons.  I  am glad now to be alone with my music in the background.  I use music as therapy, that and my dogs.  I love them all!

I am turning this series into an ongoing conversation of me sharing my heart and soul with anyone who wants to read it.

When i hit 36 I was given the gift of Schizophrenia and my life has changed in so many ways, some good and some hard.  I will not say they are bad because I don’t know what is good for me, only God knows perfectly what is to become of me.

So the facade continues, how long can I keep it up we shall see but as of late been productive so I take that as a good sign that I am doing ok actually even though when the demons come it sometimes scares me.

I fear many things, some of it real and some of it imagined.  I am very sensitive to the mood of others and choose to surround myself with positive people.  Life can be very funny and I try to laugh every day.

God is the love of my life though.  I used to be atheist and am so glad now that God has revealed himself to me in so many beautiful ways that are only explainable  in heaven.

Pax

Victoria

 

 

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