Don’t run I tell myself…

The minute things get hard I run or want to anyway.

When I was little I ran away from my friends when they hurt my feelings, I ran away from home several times. I grew up in California and still do live there, I ran away to Arizona, New York and anywhere I could think to be away from internal problems that manifested externally.

I ran last night.

I felt cornered, like there was no way out other than the difficult decision to do something that would change my life and the lives of many…

But God intervened and my mind was set to ease after a long evening with my best friend, a good night’s sleep and a text from my husband, which made everything ok. two words changed my decision…and he knew…

Marriage is hard enough but add to it all that is going on in the world along with my own interior battles having a mental health disorder makes it even harder.

Who is sick of quarantining? Me

A lot of good has come out of it. But I miss the days when I could sit in my sister’s kitchen and drink a glass of wine. I miss so much as I am sure all of you do too.

Just saying

So major life change diverted. I credit it to God, who alone knows what I need. I finally got honest with my husband today about a few things. We are starting with a clean plate, almost. One more last thing. Save it for another day.

A lot has transpired over the last few weeks.

Got tested for covid because I was having symptoms. But they were negative after 5 days waiting for the test results.

The energy in the world is very active right now.

I am getting paranoia with going out, but with good reason right?

I am rambling.

I am tired.

I pray for all of you to be safe, strong as you can and in the peace of a loving and forgiving God…

pax

Victoria

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