Going to finish my book!

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it and to those of you who don’t Happy Thursday (I am stealing this from another blog I read today because I think it is cool!)

As of right now I have stopped searching for work, some financial help has arrived, so I am going to be dedicating 2 hours a day to finish my latest book.  The title appropro is “Finding fulfillment not working”.  I have already written several chapters so I am going to reread them and then go for it!  I will let you all know my progress as it comes.  I am excited to finish this book for many reasons.

Today I woke up in a really good mood and realized that I am the author of my life.  God has my back but it is up to me to make the necessary changes to those parts of my life which are either out of balance or that I am unhappy with.  No one is going to do this for me, no, I will repeat that- no one is going to do it for me.  I have to make the change I wish to see in the world as Gandhi wrote so eloquently when he was alive!

Pax

Victoria

New medicine is working great!

 

Well I am happy to report that the new anti-anxiety medication is helping already.  Once again medicine and my awesome psychiatrist have saved the day!

My anxiety is much less and I feel like I could possibly work at a low stress job but I am not rushing into anything.  If we didn’t need the money I wouldn’t even bother but I am still waiting for permanent disability to kick in.  Since I got fired from my last job that will help my case and hopefully will speed things up.

What is really helping right now is my walking and work outs at the gym!  I took the day off from exercise yesterday and could feel the difference mentally.  I am like many people I need to fight my depression with medicine and movement!

Nothing is easy right now but I am pushing through and getting things done anyway despite how I feel.  I will make it to the gym today even if it is in the afternoon.  I am excited about using some of the new machines that staff showed me on Saturday and because it is cold outside I am going to use the treadmill to get my miles in and use inclines to get a more intense work out!

Surrounding myself with positive people and inspirational quotes helps a lot too lately.  I have a few good friends on FB who really post some neat things and I get a lot out of them and other things I read online on blogs and other sources.

I am just happy that the anxiety has left.  Mentally I feel more with it and more motivated to keep my house in order.  Having this disorder means so many things but I will not give up.  Every journey starts with a single step and I am putting my best foot forward to make a difference in my life and that of others.  Being charitable is hard when one is down but I try to help others as often as I can and it does help with my mood too.

The really great thing is that I am not psychotic right now despite the stress at my last job.  I don’t want to be psychotic ever again.  I want to be sober all the time and don’t even drink.  I do use nicotine lozenges throughout the day but don’t see myself giving them up anytime soon and do smoke a few cigs here and there..

My journey has brought me thus far; it is amazing the progress I have made and I hope that I can encourage others who also suffer from Schizoaffective Disorder.

Pax

Victoria

p.s. write anytime, I see I have some new followers, thank you for your interest.  Drop me a line anytime and share your story too… We all matter.  I blog a lot about how I am doing but as I see others check out my blog I wonder your story too and hope that my blog has made a difference in someone’s life other than my own!

 

 

Doing better again…

 

Nothing has really changed that much with my life, my dad is still dying and I am still unable to work but with the good support of family and friends I feel much better about all that is going on.  I am especially grateful to God for so many things.  I have new hope in the future.  Financial doings are even looking up so that is great especially at holiday time.  My daughter is coming home for Christmas so we both decided to decorate early this year.  My tree will be trimmed tomorrow evening and my daughter already has hers done!

I fill my days with pleasurable activities, shopping a little, coffee a lot and eating out with friends.  Walking 5 miles a day every day almost.  Took today off because it is Sunday though.

Anxiety is better at last.  I have several ways I relieve my anxiety naturally and as long as I maintain those things I am ok.

The Schizoaffective Disorder is under control because I take my anti-psychotics daily (2 kinds) and take good care of my physical health.  I exercise, sleep 8-9 hours every night, eat right 80% of the time and maintain contact with friends and family I choose to talk to.

I have lost 38 of the 50 pounds I gained when newly diagnosed.  I am happy where I am at and if I lose more I lose more.

I have accepted the fact that I may never work again.  Permanent disability is probably what I will end up on.  Se la vida.

Pax

Victoria

 

Research study opportunity

-BEGIN ANNOUNCEMENT—–

California State University San Marcos

You are Invited to Participate in an Online Research Study

Scale Validation Survey (IRB Code Number: 893513-1)

A new scale is being developed for people with various psychiatric diagnoses including depression and borderline personality disorder. The purpose of this online study is to test the validity of the scale among people from diverse backgrounds. It is hoped that this work will lead to further research and potential clinical applications. This online survey will involve completing a series of questions for approximately less than 45 minutes.

You must be at least 18 years old, fluent in English, a resident of the United States, and diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder to participate. You are not eligible to participate if you participated in our recent interview study.

To participate in this online research study, please visit:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FV7MTFL

To learn more about this research study, please contact the researcher, Stephanie Price (price049@cougars.csusm.edu), or the advisor, Dr. Heike Mahler (hmahler@csusm.edu).

—–END ANNOUNCEMENT—–

Not really my style and update on new job

Welcome to my blog! Please feel free to read this short bio if you are new, return readers can scroll down to new post, thanks.

My name is Victoria and I suffer from Schizoaffective Disorder (SA), which is basically Schizophrenia plus depression; this blog journals my progress from fall 2013 to now although I was diagnosed in 2008. I have experienced both the positive (hallucinations and delusions) and negative symptoms (lack of motivation, flat affect. social difficulties) of Schizophrenia and while the positive symptoms have been under control with Risperdal, since being diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder by UCLA in 2008, I have still suffered from the negative symptoms until recently when my psychiatrist added Latuda. Post diagnosis I received my Masters Degree in Psychology and used to work in the mental health field until stress caused me to try to go on permanent disability in September 2015. I was off for one year on disability but it took so long I found a job 2 weeks ago and it is low stress but not in the mental health field.  I am doing sales and doing well so far in my training.  I go live November 1st and look forward to making some good money as well as help people with products I believe in that are good for their health.
I started this blog in fall 2013 which journals my personal recovery from Schizophrenia. The earliest entries chart my psychotic period 2006/2007 with much in between and my current focus is managing the negative symptoms of Schizophrenia. I welcome all feedback and enjoy meeting new people through this blog and other articles I have written. I have also written a book which is available on Amazon by me, Victoria Marie Alonso- My personal recovery from Schizophrenia, which is for loved ones or those afflicted with this disorder. This blog has been viewed over 8000 times and by over 50 countries! Bienvenidos a todos! Welcome to all!

Please feel free to email me to share your story or that of a loved one at:victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Other mental health providers or researchers are welcome to ask any questions, as well.

New Post:

 

I wrote that I will be blogging more but that is not my style.  I blog when I have something to say about my recovery not just every day stuff.  So I will not be blogging more, but keeping it to my blog every now and then.

That being said I would like to update you all and let you know how my work is going.  I am doing really well, love the company and people, and am progressing in my training as a sales person for mattresses.  I am helping people get a good night sleep and feel very good about the service I provide giving people a fun experience when they come into our massive showroom with so many mattresses.

It is a lot to remember and I fear I won’t ever have it all done but then I remember that people without mental disorders have the same learning curve so I am not so different.  I think I will get the hang of it, my goodness it has only been 2 and a half days since I started working full time.  And what do I think I am going to know it all????  Very unrealistic perspective, one that is changing as I blog.

This is why I blog.  Sometimes I work out my problems as I type and solve my many problems!

So for now this part time blogger is going to just relax and be gentle with herself and know it will take time to get it all down.

Pax

Victoria