May series cont…the benefits of having a daily schedule~

I first wrote out my daily schedule but then I thought that would be too specific.  We are all different and have different interests, needs and pleasures.  The key is to finding out your productive hours and taking advantage of them.  It’s that simple for me, that and copious amounts of coffee balanced with tons of water.

The trick is to get into a good routine and right now with the Corona virus pandemic happening, it is helpful to have some good habits forming for now and in the future in our new normal.  Although I do not follow an hourly schedule, I try to get certain things done in the same order every day so I don’t forget anything.

These are my daily musts:

I wake between 8 and 9am, meds, morning prayer and readings, coffee, healthy meals, supplements, brush teeth, feed my pups, make the beds, keep up with dishes, and connect with friends and family throughout the day.

I dream to do yoga in the mornings but it is hard for me to do anything but sit and relax into the day due to the medicine I take at night, Risperidone/Risperdal

By noon I am finally waking up and try to get out to the garden to water or check on plants.

I make a lot of lists with goals for the day and week and if it doesn’t happen the day I plan it, I try to get it done the next days.  I love crossing things off my lists.

I somewhat plan my day the night before so I will check what phone calls I might need to make or bill to pay (I am in charge of the finances which is scary but I’m doing better), and if it is a gardening day, decide depending on the weather what time it will be nice out to garden.  I sometimes run an errand or two a few days a week, emails to check/answer and texting family and friends throughout the day.

Volunteer work is important to me and sometimes I provide help to people in my city when I can.  I don’t do a lot but do moderate a help group on Facebook so I am on there throughout the day, also enjoying friends and family’s pics and posts.    The last month I have been collecting masks around the county for a local non-profit’s volunteers and its elderly clientele.  Have collected 100 donated masks to date but need 700 more so I need to get back to it. 

I also make time for spiritual reading and writing and always pray at least a couple of decades of the rosary. 

Having fun is so overrated but yes I do make time for fun.  For me my favorite thing to do is go on a walk with my adult daughter or relax in the garden with her or the pups or both.  Sometimes I dance with my pups in the kitchen and a game of fetch brings much joy to them as well.  Tidying is fun and challenging plus very rewarding.  I love Netflix (currently obsessed with Criminal Minds) and watch one to two shows a day while I eat my meals.  TV is boring to me (don’t even know how the TV works, too many remotes) but I love a good movie usually a romantic comedy.

Every day is different according to my energy level and the weather.  Today was hot so didn’t get much done and still recovering from my toes’ procedure.  It’s important to know that not every day will be super productive but ensuring the basics are done sets the right tone for what may be a great day, or not.  And crossing jobs done off my lists feels very satisfying.

I have not always had a lot of energy or motivation but using the reward system helps me to get stuff done.  I also take Vitamin B sublingual every day in the morning which has definitely increased my energy levels.  You can get it for $4 at Walmart!  And one bottle lasts a while.  You have to hold it under your tongue for 30 seconds and then I drink lots of water because I don’t like the taste.

I will be writing tomorrow about my supplements.

Have a good night everyone!

Pax

Victoria

My road is not yours…

My path or journey to wellness is individualized; as is yours…

What it may take to get there is dependent on ones’ willingness to do the work, however hard it may be.

I am not speaking of external things; no, I speak of that which lies inside our hearts down to our souls, which is then manifested into our external being. An example would be my garden; it’s thriving and I can’t wait to get out there today! My house is tidy too and most importantly my relationships are solid… these are all manifestations of the peace I have inside at having done the work necessary to heal. yes, heal in many ways…

It’s a fight, and I am no longer timid about how I proceed. I am obsessed with being the best version of myself, but I take breaks and that is what gets me along…

I still have my moments though of uncertainty during the day. If I remember, I pray an Our Father for God’s will at my next task. I am always directed pretty much immediately and free choice lies at the center of all my choices. God is not a slave master, He watches us flail around a bit at times but He is always with us and helps us up when we fall.

God is my all!

pax

Victoria

May series cont…the benefits of writing~

I am struggling to write this blog of the May series.  I struggle with putting into words exactly what I am thinking.  I know I am not the best writer, as my mother can attest to, as she was the main editor for all my school papers, yet she taught me well…love her and glad she is still here on this earth mentally and physically. 

So, I will pose a question of any writer, whether one blogs or journals or exudes poetry… and then I will describe my experience in how writing benefits me.  Feel free to share your answer in the comments below or email me at:  victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

How does writing benefit you?

To me, writing is cathartic, releasing my emotions through raw and real feelings shared through my blogs.  I share my heart with all my readers and I never regret it and have rarely deleted a blog.  I have been blogging since 2013 and was diagnosed in 2008.   It helps me to get my thoughts, emotions and the sharing of how I have recovered greatly from Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder.

 The releasing comes in sharing my pain and offering help to others.  That has been the purpose of this May series and of this blog.  To share how becoming passionate about life by trying new things from yoga and meditation, to walking and gardening.  I hope it has been helpful.  I have enjoyed it and look forward to my time dedicated at night after my umpteenth cup of coffee because I enjoy sleeping in sometimes and enjoy the house to myself while I type away at night sometimes with a candle.

Caveat:

While I write under a pseudo name, I still do not share all.  Only my Maker knows all and that is how it shall remain.  My dark side shall remain a mystery to even me…

Rereading my writing:

I read a prayer list the other day from 2015 and saw that all my prayers had been answered, not always in the way I wanted naturally.  But it was fun to think about when I wrote that prayer list and the need to write a new one only to be discovered in what 2025?  All this from writing.

While I do not dislike any of my blogs!, I often destroy my journals and always have. I have always been a off and on again sort of prolific writer. During my psychotic period 2006-2008 I wrote the most giving messages and I stopped writing for many years. Then wrote a book (only took me 8 years) about my life which didn’t sell. If anyone wants a copy I will gladly send it to you as it is no longer available online.

Conclusion:

Writing does not come easy for all.  But even if you don’t already blog, just journal-ling about things in general can be helpful.  I remember when I first started seeing my psychiatrist, I would write down all my questions and refer to it during session.  I hope you have done the same if you are like me.  Now I just think about it because my meds aren’t changing and the past 4 years since my dad’s stroke. which paralyzed him, my depression has been mainly situational. Talk therapy with a grief therapist has been helpful.  It’s free and I talk to her once a week.  This week I cried thinking about my dad…

Anyway, try it for ten minutes and see what comes out for you.  Reread it the next day and if so inspired write ten minutes more.  Write about your joys, your sadness, your frustration, whatever just journal.  I switch back and forth between blogging and journal-ing.  I just started that.  But I write down what I do every day or need to do and enjoy crossing off my many lists.

What is your passion?  I have so many… write about that and especially areas you might like to improve for future reflection.  But don’t forget to write about all the things you did good each day you remember too.  Even if it is just drinking your water and eating healthy let your pen or computer write that. 

I had to write myself a note today to be gentle with myself right now.  I am recovering from an injury and can’t garden or do too much.  Been finding things to do that involve sitting like the photo sorting, writing and reading. 

So what is your answer to this question?  I hope I have answered well and that this short essay may please my mom. 

Pax

Victoria

Somewhere only I know…

I have a dark side but it used to be much darker in my teenage years when I was doing drugs. Drugs were not the cause of my Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder! It was a gift when I was 36 (stopped doing drugs at 21). Quite the gift…

I still wear mainly black and enjoy heavy metal music, Metallica currently, Yet I am very zen and Christian all the time. I can’t listen to songs about the devil though. Just saying.

I find God mentioned a lot in this type of music along with rebellion, which I am currently in but know that the Grace of God carries me to heaven.

Back to the dark side, I do not love evil, I prayed tonight for all the hardened sinners imprisoned. A bit of family drama tonight spurred it on. Please pray for my husband’s side of the family as they are in need of serious help and may be facing more jail time. I ask myself if I should stay out of it. I do not know so I will do nothing for now.

The May series is not my priority right now as some of you may have noticed. But hoping to stay up late tonight to write on it and to read more of the book I blogged about that has changed my life.

Today was spent with my dear friend who lost her husband 3 weeks ago today, spending the afternoon in my little garden and it was quite nice. We cried, laughed, talked about Larry her husband and watched all the dogs play. My Toby is her dog and I was so glad she brought him. I do not see friends much right now except her and we socially distance during our visits.

I am quite content these days with or without friends. But I am glad that I can be there for her and right now she needs me a lot and I appreciate that she loves me so much as I love her.

I say that yet I do look forward to seeing the family who live with me especially my husband coming home. I wash his mask when he lets me lol and disenfect his phone often.

Is anyone else getting used to these crazy times?

I hugged my husband’s friend tonight, who was born on the same day, month and year (weird) as my husband, who just lost his dad. A good long hug which he was surprised I gave him. I am not afraid and when someone is hurting due to loss I am going to always be there for them. Love will conquer all!

I take a lot of time for me, though, through all of this. I have my music when I want it. Haven’t been doing too much yoga but it’s there…can’t walk right now due to a double toe procedure but still getting in over a mile each day. Been reading a lot. Lots of books right now to stir my heart for God and learn how to hold other’s pain better without letting it affect me in the process.

That’s all for tonight!

God bless and stay safe

pax

Victoria

A love poem…

My heart skips a beat-

when I really think about God

I am at peace with my life in many ways

God is the reason for that-

leading me, guiding me, showing me better ways

The end

I am not the same person I was last week nor am I who I will be in one week. We are always changing. Sure there are inconveniences especially with the whole Corona virus pandemic. But all in all I am better for staying at home. And my garden has never looked better.

I do a lot, manage a lot of things. But I take a lot of breaks and some days, although not lately, I take a day off. Feels like I might need one soon but so much to do.

I have a ton of gardening stacked up, paperwork to fight with and companies, and the dogs to keep happy. But the house is clean and tidy for now and laundry is going to be finished tomorrow. So I will write on my May series. Oh my! I am behind on that too.

But I take everything in stride. What gets done gets done and tomorrow will come soon enough.

A topic coming up is the Art of tidying. I enjoy it and have gotten better at thanks to Marie Kondo.

Well off to write about writing ha ha

pax

Victoria

A book has changed my life again…loving it~

It is late yet the house is still stirring in a very rhythmic way.

Jason Mraz is playing in my earbud, “Mr. Curiosity”.

I have had a good day in many ways, the highlight being a book which answered my question I had had the night before which I had written down.

The question was- how can I remain peaceful despite negative energy from other people I encounter in my relationships with family and friends and the occasional stranger?

The answer I found was in a book a friend gave me in Dave Markowitz’s book, Self-Care for the Self-Aware: A Guide for Highly Sensitive People, Empaths, Intuitives, and Healers

__________________

It opened my eyes to two main truths:

I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF, my own soul, my own salvation…

I CAN HELP OTHERS HEAL AND NOT LET IT AFFECT ME BY USING HIS TOOLS, keyhole mainly, sending back

additionally, I can do a body scan, send back to the person or people, and re-calibrate…

Those are the basics.

I set up a free fifteen minute consult with the author next week and ordered his other book Empathipedia: Healing for Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons

I also realized something tonight while reviewing the questions posed by the intake form. I am healed in many ways through the teachings of Christ, the wisdom of the Buddha, self-reflection, meditation, prayer, and to seal the deal (no pun intended) the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me moment by year until eternity…

Pax

Victoria

May series cont…Music~

Music has always been a part of my life…

It speaks to my soul at times and other times it is just a distraction…

Music used strategically can be a great motivator.  Listen to a favorite relaxing or jamming song after you accomplish a task, new or one you have been putting  off.  And then walk or dance or just sit in a comfortable chair or lay on your bed and listen away…

It also is fun when others enjoy your music with you.  I love listening to Simple Man with my husband as it is his favorite and I enjoy it more because of that… or listening to Jason Mraz, I won’t give up or Sarah Bareilles, She used to be mine or 1000 things.

I love almost all music from gospel with Elvis Presley to Heavy Metal Metallica or Pearl Jam.  The only music I don’t have a taste for is jazz but I appreciate people who are into it, and country on a limited basis of a handful of artist,  Keith Urban or Shania Twain.  Can’t forget Johnny Cash, Elton John and George Michael.

The last talented artist I will address is Justin Bieber.  I am a huge fan of this artist because of his dedication to others who suffer like him, giving them hope when he himself has seen the darkness depression enslaves…  giving away so much through his music, documentaries and interviews.  Thank you to all!

Pax

Victoria