Stress brought on new relapse, going to start Clozapine Monday!

Hello to all!

Stress, as I have written about before, is my biggest enemy with this disorder.  This time it was helping a family member that caused me to relapse into a world of my own.  Oh I look fine on the outside except I am dressed very warm because I am need the warmth right now.

So I went to see my psychiatrist last week and I asked if we could try Clozapine.  He said, “oh the big gun”.  I never knew it was called that.  I wonder why he didn’t try it before after all here I am and I can’t even hold down a job.  But after all the rigmarole I understand now why he did not prescribe it sooner.

First you have to do bloodwork every week for a period and then biweekly and then I believe monthly.  They have to monitor my white blood count to make sure it doesn’t go too low.  So I did that the next day.  Then I go to the pharmacy and they didn’t have it in stock so they sent it to another pharmacy I have never dealt with and they shall be nameless but their service is less to be desired than my regular pharmacy Walmart.

So I am working with my pharmacy and they say I have to be in some registry for this special drug… I had to wait for my busy doctor to enroll me and by the time he did it was too late to get my medicine on Friday and they won’t update the registry until Monday so Monday it is.

I am staying close to home, trying to use my coping skills right now because I feel so unwell.  I have had to disclose my disorder to a few people since I had to stop helping this family member who needs a lot of help and attention.  I had to step back due to her negativity.

I am surrounding myself with positive people and vaping my cbd oil which has helped in the past and helped me to get these thoughts out on here in my safe blog.  I am listening to my fave music, Jason Mraz, who is so amazing.

My son and daughter have also been here with me every step, believing in me and supporting me.  My husband doesn’t get it but is being as understanding as he can be.

I haven’t visited my dad since Monday but may go tomorrow if I feel up to it.  I’m taking it easy right now, being very gentle with myself and trying to stay positive.  I have heard great things about this medicine so I have hope that next week may bring some needed relief.

Pax

Victoria

Essential oils brighten my day:)

I bought a pack of essential oils with lemon, rosemary, cedarwood, eucalyptus, orange, peppermint, lavender, stress relief and more…

I have been using them in various recipes that I got out of eat dirt by Dr. Josh Axe.  Today I made deodorant with coconut oil, baking soda and rosemary.  Put it in an old container and have cheap good smelling deodorant!

Tomorrow it is going to be my favorite activity with lavender.  I am making goat soap the easy way and even adding color and lavender dried flowers to them.

Today was a good day.  I painted my kitchen cabinets and the kitchen is so much brighter now!  Feels clean!  Scrubbed my countertops too and got rid of what I don’t use that was taking up space mainly cds.  I am obsessed with Jason MrAz house shows.

I am not always motivated to do jobs around the house or in the gardens so I take the motivation when it comes… and lately because of the CBD oil and other herbal remedies plus the essential oils my motivation level is quite high.

I even applied to two jobs this week that won’t affect my disability if I get it working retail at department stores.  Seems chill.  Not much pay but right now anything helps!

Today is Padre Pio Feast Day September 23 and he answered a novena prayer I was saying with my daughter in a big way!  God is so good!

My disorder is in check right now.  I still take my medicines twice a day faithfully and everything else I do on top of it is just supplementation not instead of.  I have resigned to the fact that I will be taking Risperdal and Latuda along with Lexapro and my anti-anxiety drugs every day for the rest of my life.

Finding creative ways to make life pleasureable is half the fun, the other half is living my life with a purpose!

Still waiting for several things to happen, my second book should be published 2018, and I will find out hopefully this month if I qualify for permanent disablility or not.

My mom is also having surgery for a knee replacement this next week so appreciate any prayers anyone can muster!

Life is good!  Doesn’t have to be a pity party even when I am unmotivated….

Pax

Victoria

 

C

CBD oil for Schizophrenia

I have been vaping pure CBD oil for about a month now and have noticed significant changes in my symptoms.  The messages from God have ceased to a great degree and although the delusions come and go they are mostly not believed thanks to many proofs.  CBD oil not only helps with the positive symptoms but also the negative one.  It gets me moving and helps me to be more creative too!

My cousin has done significant research on its usage and correlation of helping people with Schizophrenia so I tried it and noticed a huge change although I am still taking my antipsychotic medication and probably never will stop!

Going to mention it to my pdoc next visit as last time I saw him I was receiving many messages from God and he was mildly concerned and wanted to see me sooner than usual.  He’ll be glad things are back to normal well whatever that is anyway ha ha.

I have many projects I am working on right now, planting a lemon tree, sanding and painting the cabinets which is taking forever and eventually painting both bathrooms cream.

Well hope you are  all doing well.  I am still making collages and have begun personalizing them:)

Happy Labor Day 2017!

Pax

Victoria