At peace during these extremely difficult times…

Yesterday wasn’t so.  It comes in spurts, waxing and waning as the world runs amok.

Today I got enough of my medicine for a couple of months and is probably why I am at peace.  I had to drive an hour to get the free samples of my anti-psychotics and antidepressants which would have cost me a thousand dollars at the pharmacy.

And I am now set up for tele-videoing with my psychiatrist.  if you don’t have something like this available I am so sorry and if you haven’t yet set this up I urge you to do so right away.

We may forget about our mental health care right now because of many of reasons.  But things will be limited now and in the coming who knows how long?

We will be ok world, wherever you are…

Will be blogging as much as I can to spread peace amongst us who are disordered and for loved ones and those who are interested in mental health especially students.  We need more doctors, nurses, psychiatrists etc … study hard!

I can be reached at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com with any questions about my journey or for comments from you or your loved ones.  God bless you all!

pax

Victoria

In social distancing mode…

Trying to be positive in these trying times.

But the depression and possibly psychosomatic symptoms creeping in.

Need to exercise and practice self care while the whole world is seemingly falling apart.

I see my psychiatrist this week which is great and until then I will try harder to take care of myself mentally and physically.

Sitting in my chair for hours is not healthy right now.

Here are my solid plans to get back on track.-

Stay off social media ✅ clean my kitchen, work out and get those natural endorphins going, stop stress eating and eat the fresh veggies in my fridge maybe some chicken kale 🥬 🍜 and do something fun like watch frozen 2 on Disney!

What are some ways you all are staying sane right now?

Pax

Victoria

Final part 7 of my schizophrenia love journey…

So here I sit! Wanting the world 🌎 to know that I am ok and so are you!

It’s ok to have a mental disorder that causes me to not be ok at times.

I don’t particularly like people knowing that I’m not ok at times but it is the truth. I am not ashamed but proud of all I accomplish in a day most days.

But the moments I am not ok I have to figure something out! Long baths help as does my cbd oil and other things!

The secret to happiness I read is kind deeds and hot baths so away I go to soak and relax.

I will be blogging again soon to keep the momentum going. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.

Feel free to email me any suggestions or comments on things that help you or your loved ones when not ok!

Victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Pax

Victoria

Part 3 of my schizophrenia love journey…

So not feeling extra special when I look back at my life. Nothing heroic all very mundane but with a few moments of confusion and unexplainable happenings…

The year I received the gift of schizophrenia my world 🌎 lifted me so high on life receiving messages from above which still happens from time to time. And then the meds stopped the dialogue that was pretty constant and confusing.

But when God wants his will done in me who am I to refuse?

Today is the type of day when I will force myself to get sh$& done!

Just gonna do it because yesterday was a shitty day I don’t want to repeat!

I found out the other day I still have the gift of healing which I only use when God directs me…

So here I am still fighting each and every day I am alive. Today it’s in the garden I will work ☺️

Hoping all of you have a blessed day ❤️

Pax

Victoria

Things that stress me out…

 

and how I cope with a mental disorder.

  1. Money, although there always is some but yet wham, the unexpected or balloon payment is due like say for your taxes.  Mine are due in October.  Think of something else.  Don’t spend a dime.  Save if one can, even pennies add up to dollars.  I have definitely gotten better at saving this year.  I stopped shopping for everything on Amazon and am being more frugal about going to the store for every little item.  My husband was supposed to take over the bills because of my disorder but it hasn’t happened and never will probably.

I don’t work so I have more time to find coupons and deals when we do spend.  He makes a decent income so if I am careful I can really tuck some money away if I’m careful.

I know I am blessed.  I can’t imagine being single and having to rely on my disability income which I get $1,000 a month.

2. Sickness and getting older.  I am not as fit as I used to be but am getting back on track.  But I have been dealing for the past two weeks with a new medical problem surrounding digestive issues and am really trying to avoid going to the doctor right now because of lack of insurance (see #3) at least until October 1.

To combat this stress I try to eat healthy all the time with the occasional goodie.  I also am now exercising 4x a week on average.  I am gardening, walking and doing yoga throughout the week.  This helps my getting in better shape and also helps mental alertness and health.  Today was a rest day and all I wanted to do was to rest but I am in the middle of several projects around the house and rose garden so it was actually harder than I thought it would be to take a day off but my body needed the rest.  So back at it tomorrow!

Although this can stress me out a lot I am learning that the key to my happiness is acceptance.

Now i am much more motivated to do the healthy things that I am doing.  Which in the past it has really been problematic to just sit all day and do nothing, now I do rest in the mornings but do get busier later in the day.  So it is good that I am treating my body better because I have really been sick a lot and it has caused me to make sure I do all I can to be healthy.

I might go to the doctor this week.  We shall see how things go but this relates to #1 the money stress with doctor bills and testing they might want to do.

3.  My parents.  I accept they will not always be around but my dad is paralyzed on his left half of his body and my mom is a fighter but is still very frail yet tough as a bird!

How I combat this stress is by spending as much time with them as I can and appreciating every moment.

4.  Kids and husband.  Kids is easy to combat.  All the work I put in when they were growing up has paid off and although I might not agree with all their decisions I am very proud of the 3 of them.  Interestingly enough, my disorder did not kick in until I was 38 and I was only lost to the world for a year of being psychotic.  Husband is one of my kids ha ha so ditto for him.

I also stress over the unexpected busy day, making sure I take all my meds, doing all I can for my family and friends even when an interruption comes at an inconvenient time.  I used to turn off my phone, which I still do, but I do take calls when I can as needed to be a good friend!

Well that is the main stuff.  What are some things that stress you out and how do you cope?  Comment below or email me at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com.

Bless you all!  Of  course I pray a lot too and try to trust what God is doing.  But it isn’t always easy to do.

pax

Victoria

 

Checking in sorry not as promised…

Dear readers,

I don’t blog much these days but life has been crazy.

I am learning what works for me, what motivates me and how to deal with some difficult emotions found around those I love, tears, smiles and a lot more.  But for the most part I am doing really well despite this difficult diagnosis.

Some of the things I do to stay well is to every day do the following:

Deep breaths

prayer

read my bible

self care

garden (ok not every day)

Keep my house up

take care of my doggies

take care of the bills, taxes, cars, houses and paperwork

read inspirational books and articles or watch Tedtalks

exercise several times a week (yoga, walking, cleaning house, and going to start interval running.

and last but not least I listen to inspirational music mainly Jason Mraz (ok I am obsessed with him and his music ha ha)

Life is pretty good right now except for some minor anxiety.  I also take a few supplements NAC, CBD oil full spectrum (because of taking this oil I am no longer delusional) and magnesium.  I also take my anti-psychotic meds every day no matter how I feel.

I don’t feel the need to blog as much as I used to because the delusions are gone.  Come to find out the book I wrote I was delusional while writing it.  When I reread it (which is rare) I find that I don’t remember even writing it.  I remember my delusions and although I am free of them it’s nice to be free!

Hope all of you are doing well!

Prayers,

pax

Victoria

 

I won’t give up…

This song by Jason Mraz has kept me going through my suffering with schizoaffective disorder, I sometimes forget how far I have come in my journey of recovery and forget how much this song helped me.

“I won’t give up on us (me n the Divine) even if the sky’s get rough ”

I have been through so much as my previous first posts since 2013 and I started this blog which has helped me maybe more than it has helped others!

I appreciate every like and comment and emails alike! They are all special to me…

My webmaster has shown me how to link to previous blogs so will be working on that tomorrow.

Goodnight

As usual pax,

Victoria