May series cont…Music~

Music has always been a part of my life…

It speaks to my soul at times and other times it is just a distraction…

Music used strategically can be a great motivator.  Listen to a favorite relaxing or jamming song after you accomplish a task, new or one you have been putting  off.  And then walk or dance or just sit in a comfortable chair or lay on your bed and listen away…

It also is fun when others enjoy your music with you.  I love listening to Simple Man with my husband as it is his favorite and I enjoy it more because of that… or listening to Jason Mraz, I won’t give up or Sarah Bareilles, She used to be mine or 1000 things.

I love almost all music from gospel with Elvis Presley to Heavy Metal Metallica or Pearl Jam.  The only music I don’t have a taste for is jazz but I appreciate people who are into it, and country on a limited basis of a handful of artist,  Keith Urban or Shania Twain.  Can’t forget Johnny Cash, Elton John and George Michael.

The last talented artist I will address is Justin Bieber.  I am a huge fan of this artist because of his dedication to others who suffer like him, giving them hope when he himself has seen the darkness depression enslaves…  giving away so much through his music, documentaries and interviews.  Thank you to all!

Pax

Victoria

 

With a mother’s heart…

I wish all of you a Happy Mother’s Day!  All woman need to be celebrated today I believe…

Jason Mraz has a new song called Wise Woman which is here just in time for Mother’s Day.  Beautiful rhythm and melody and the words capture many woman in my life.  For we are not mothers because we give birth to a child, no we are mothers when we care for another needs; albeit a pet, spouse or anyone in our life that we may touch.

I have 3 mothers. I am very blessed.  I have my mother in heaven, Mary, who helps me at every turn.  I have my adoptive mother who means the world to me because she chose me and loves me so.  And I have my birth mom, who is amazing and I wish I could get to be in her life more but alas it is not to be.

And I am a mother of 4 (3 still living) and was very blessed by them all weekend.

More gardening tomorrow.

God bless you all!  Especially moms who either have schizophrenia or are moms of children who have schizophrenia.

Pax

Victoria

 

Coping ok… May series is coming along…

I haven’t been at my best today no reason I can see.

I don’t feel like doing anything so I turn to my computer and write which engages my mind and helps me to be doing something productive.  The May series is really coming together.  I invite you to share it on your blog because it could really benefit anyone with a mental health disorder although it does target people with Schizophrenia.

I do need to do some writing about my dad…

Very hard!  He is still alive although is on hospice currently but is stable for the moment.  I can’t see him right now naturally but if in the even of his decline they would gown me up and let me see him.  So I guess that’s good to know that I might be able to see him again before he dies.

Still very hard to write about him.  I love him dearly and he loves me dearly too.

Here is the schedule for the May series.  I don’t have all dates although the first one will start May 1, 2020.

But these are the topics all of them being the benefits of this practice, along with some of the road blocks I have experienced getting into the practice of them.

  • yoga (May 1)
  • having a spiritual practice
  • meditation
  • gardening
  • walking
  • exercise
  • healthy eating
  • proper rest
  • self care
  • taking care of our mental health
  • ???
  • writing
  • music

I am taking my time to fully edit, proof and possibly add some pics.  I am only sharing what has worked for me.  I do not do it all every day but have found that these activities can be very helpful when I have some down time which lately is all the time.  But there are times when I don’t do any of it except the spiritual practice.  And that’s ok.  But when I am engaged in any of these activities I am always aware and fully immersed and forget that I have a mental health disorder often, which is why I want to share with all of you what works for me. Escapes are what they are really.  Escape from my sadness and preoccupation of my dad’s ultimate death.

Peace to all of you

pax

Victoria

 

 

Over productivity side affects…

Greetings to all!

I have been busier than usual this weekend and today…

But I’m still looking for that safe place to land…

Feeling off despite being physically active.  Took my cbd oil and have been taking my supplements but I’m just a little off.  Listening to heavy metal music right now.  It’s my mood.  Off to Nether nether land, boom!

It’s great to have projects to be doing and all the while keeping up with house and bills.  I have a friend who is not mentally disordered who told me today that she quit from her job as maid and cook.  I was like wow, how do you do that?  Haven’t heard back.  Problems in the union I suppose but it made me grateful that I am not feeling like quitting but it would be nice to get a day off.

I do a lot in a day most days lately but I take a lot of breaks.  Still vaping unfortunately but it is an addiction and not one easy to break.  One day…

My unit family at home with me are all pitching in to make the yard better.  This is a miracle.  We have weeds everywhere, well not anymore, and it is great to be buying plants.  Today my husband wanted an orange tree so off I went!  Son will dig hole and plant it and I will take care of it.

I have a side garden where I like to relax with my doggies and it has been overgrown with weeds for over a year.  I am physically limited on how much I can do.  I am not in great shape for gardening but am trying.  My daughter did all the weeding on the side garden!  She worked hard and I am so grateful.

May series starts soon!  It has been a challenge to write the blogs in a word document that really addresses my guessing at what types of readers read this blog.  I don’t get much feedback and always target the Schizophrenia population as that is where my heart lies.  So the aim of this series will be around how some of these activities can be helpful to people with Schizophrenia.  But they are also helpful for people with other mental health disorders or anybody right now with this pandemic.  Off I go to write day 2!

Still open to suggestions.  Feel free to email me at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com and let me know your interests and struggles.  This is my personal email and will not be seen by anybody but me.

So to conclude.  I am off mentally today but that is ok.  I am not going to be 100 percent every day.  And although I am being over productive I find it is hard for me to rest now that I have gotten a taste of what activities can do for me.  But am going to lay down and take a nap because that is the next thing on my list then it is back to the gardens!

God bless and stay safe.

Pax

Victoria

 

 

How are we doing?…

These are weird times and I wonder how my followers and new readers are doing.  I know not many will answer but I care so am asking.  And if you don’t know here is the checklist I use to check in with myself.

  • Am I keeping my appointments with my psychiatrist, therapist, friends I check in with, touching in with family? Yes.
  • How is my anxiety?  Good.  What do I need right now?  A bath, incense, relaxing activities…Do I need to take a deep breath in and out a few times? yes.  Is my body tense in some areas? No. Do I need to stretch or do some yoga for a bit? yes but not going too because it’s too late.  Take my cbd oil? yes Drink a glass of water?  drinking one right now.  Wash my hands, again? no
  • Have I exercised or at least moved my body?  yes.
  • Have I gotten outside for some sunshine and fresh air? yes.
  • How are my delusions?  Today not so bad, not feeling very special which is great!
  • am I hearing voices or sounds?  nah, haven’t for many years except for the occasional humming in my ear.
  • Am I taking my medicine?  yes, just did, never miss a dose
  • have I gotten my favorite music in mainly Jason Mraz?  Yes and yes, found a new band, Music, travel, love.  Very relaxing…
  • Have I connected with God?  I ask this question last not least and my answer is yes but no messages, thank you God!

These are just some of my questions I ask myself.  So my answer about how I am doing is pretty good tonight.  Off to bed, meant to write about my crazy day but alas this came out instead.

God bless you all,

pax

Victoria

Upcoming guest article on financial planning for my readers and me too!

Gracefully, I was contacted by a gentleman who wanted to bring his knowledge of financial planning to my blog.  Happily I accepted and it will be released soon coming up hopefully by this weekend.  It’s good advice for anyone but especially people who suffer from Schizophrenia or other mental health disorders (I still refuse to call myself sick).

So watch for it with the # financial planning for the mentally disordered or follow my blog.  You can also contact me as usual at: victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com with any questions or suggestions.

I have never had a guest blogger so am pretty excited to share his blog with you.  Thank you ahead Ed!

As far as my quarantined life I am doing pretty good actually.  Been keeping myself busy with various cooking, cleaning, gardening and blogging projects.  Which by the way leads to my next topic.

May 1, 2020 I will be releasing a series of blogs throughout May with various topics daily hopefully.  My first blog will be on the benefits of…. your choice or mine?  Any suggestions see email above and put in title, topic request.

Some that I am thinking of are music, gardening, yoga, eating healthy etc.  But am open.

I am also awaiting my new acoustic guitar to arrive!!!  Should my first song be “I won’t give up” by my favorite musician Jason Mraz?  For those of you who have been with me for a while know my mantra has been through my hardest times, ‘still not giving up’ based on Jason’s song.  So it will be a tribute of some sort to him.  My son plans to learn it too and is also excited  But I am staying sane and healthy at home for now with my other projects.

Hope this blog finds all of you with peace and love in your hearts,

pax

Victoria

 

Part 5 of my schizophrenia love journey…

3–5pm is my witching hour.  I am impulsive, anxious and often lonely.  The last few days I have been busy with family stuff and have been with someone at that time and I was fine.

My husband works long hours and I am alone much of the day and nothing is safe when the hour hits.

Tonight I am alone in my home back from the train ride and helping my son and daughter in law move and visiting with my daughter, brother and other son.

Such a strange day for many reasons.  I  am glad now to be alone with my music in the background.  I use music as therapy, that and my dogs.  I love them all!

I am turning this series into an ongoing conversation of me sharing my heart and soul with anyone who wants to read it.

When i hit 36 I was given the gift of Schizophrenia and my life has changed in so many ways, some good and some hard.  I will not say they are bad because I don’t know what is good for me, only God knows perfectly what is to become of me.

So the facade continues, how long can I keep it up we shall see but as of late been productive so I take that as a good sign that I am doing ok actually even though when the demons come it sometimes scares me.

I fear many things, some of it real and some of it imagined.  I am very sensitive to the mood of others and choose to surround myself with positive people.  Life can be very funny and I try to laugh every day.

God is the love of my life though.  I used to be atheist and am so glad now that God has revealed himself to me in so many beautiful ways that are only explainable  in heaven.

Pax

Victoria